Thanksgiving 2011

I have been making some trial run stuffing recipes based on my mom's potato/carrot/onion/cornflake stuffing. Of course I'm trying to make it vegan. (She used a cube of butter and 6 eggs). Well, I burned the first batch and the second didn't have much resemblance to mom's yummy stuff. 

I gave up. Keep it simple. I'm making a wild rice pilaf. It's tried, true. Everyone loves it. Why muck aroud?

The other thing I was thinking about is that hardly anyone eats the way we did 20-30 years ago. We want lighter healthier stuff. So I'm keeping my cooked veggies steamed and offering a big bowl of organic strawberries for a sweet alternative. I think people will be grateful.

I decided to buy a cooked Turkey for our meat eating guests and I am making a hearty lentil soup for the vegans.

Happy holidays!

Fall/Winter Fat Cravings

So here we are again. It's Fall. And sure enough I wanna tank up on fat and hibernate. Happens every year.  Even if I'm doing well and not exhibiting eating disordered behavior, I still put on a few pounds every winter. I keep telling myself there's no shame here. It's physiological. But it's hard. The body image thoughts stay strong even though I'm in a fairly mature part of my recovery. Luckily, I'm not craving animal fat. In the past it was always an intense Fall/Winter craving for cheese. Now it's tortilla chips. It's just corn, right :)?

what- cha got?

That's what we say around here when one of us is hungry. Of course this means we have to go through what's already cooked and available and what can be whipped up in a hurry.

This is what we "got" today: Plants and more plants......
Butternut Squash soup
Barley, mung bean, pear salaad
Cabbage with tomatoes, onion, corn and peas
Fresh apples, red bartlett pears, green grapes
Ok we cheated with a brownie left over from our family party last Sunday.

What is restriction?

I have found some missing pieces to my eating disorder this past year. I have been attending a weekly ED therapy group at the hospital. One of the group facilitators submitted to me that restriction is just as eating disordered as bingeing and purging. 

Many of us will view restriction as virtuous and are not nearly bothered by it as we are by overeating and bingeing. The faciltator told me that we aren't bothered by undereating so much because it is congruent with the desire to be thin, whereas overeating equals "fat". It was hard to accept that restriction is really bad as I'm not underweight at all, in fact I could use to lose about 5 or 10 more pounds.

The three main restrictive behaviors I  practice:

1.) Make a huge salad and call it dinner even though it is calorically deficient= hiding behind low cal bulk eating.

2.) Bargaining with myself: If I eat this now then I'll just cut back the rest of the day. 

3.)  Villify foods: Obsessed about fat grams..... Carbs are bad.....

I recently met someone who practices restriction in a low volume way. Weighed and measured low bulk fatty foods. Never getting really full for fear of bulemia. This version isn't me.

There you go. There are probably more ways to restrict.

Tell me about that.

Chana Dal-great basic for a plant based diet

I discovered Chana Dal (baby garbazo beans) several years ago when I was researching foods that keep the blood sugar stable.  Read about that here:  http://www.mendosa.com/chanadal.html

I used to buy this at Whole Foods, but they stopped carrying it in my local store. I now order it from Bob's Red Mill.

These beans look like yellow split peas but they are garbanzo beans and keep their shape when cooked.

Tonight I made a yummy soup with the dal with what I had on hand.

9oz dal (1.5cups) (soaked 8hours)
5 cups water
1 large garden or heirloom tomato chopped
2/3 med red onion chopped
1 pepper (serrano I think) minced
2 stalks celery chopped
1 large carrot shredded
2 cloves garlic minced
Juice of 1/2 large meyer lemon
1 tsp curry powder
1/2 tsp chili powder
pinch cardamon
1/2 tsp coriander
fresh ground pepper to taste
1/2 tbsp salt
8oz sweet potato cubed: add last 10-15 min of cooking.

Add all ingredients except sweet potato, Boil and simmer for 40min then add sweet potato and cook til tender about 10-15 min.

Still catching up after returning from our trip. Sleep, laundry, food prep.....
Tomorrow I have my eating disorder's group at the hospital. Gotta get to my homework which is to write my life's story from the perspective of Ed (my Eating Disorder) and then my story from Johannah's perspective. Will let ya know how that goes.

Night!

Sharing with omnivores

Just got back from a 5 day vacation on Lake Crescent WA. Me, hubby, darling daughter and her boyfriend. They made the meaty main course and I shared my vegan "side dishes" with them. They loved them. I admit I tasted their fish and egg scramble, but didn't touch the bbq chicken.  I was quite happy and not deprived eating quinioa/black bean salad, split pea soup with yam,  cabbage bean salad and for simpler fare, hummus, pumpernickle, low carb veggies, salad, and lots of fruit. Daughter and her BF liked everything. Just not sure how to convince someone they don't need all that heavy animal protein. Well, in 12 step we say it's a program of attraction rather than promotion. Somehow with the unsustainability of feeding people animals, it makes me think promotion may be a good idea.

I just read on J Morris Hick's blog where he is recruiting President Clinton to promote a plant based diet. Who better to do it? I highly recommend JMH's blog:

http://hpjmh.com/2011/09/20/matt-lauer-to-bill-clinton-does-being-a-vegan-suck/

What's for Breakfast and Lunch?

Just thought I'd post a few meals.

Bfast: (This was a little lighter than usual)

Green Smoothie: Spinach, Romaine, cuke, cel, tom, carr, lemon juice

1/4 c avocado hummus

1 cup quinoa

1 brazil nut for a daily dose of selenium

Lunch:

2 heaping cups quinoa, lentil, corn salad (bunch of stuff in it: tomatoes, pears, pumpkin seeds)

Vinegrette dressing (low oil)

1 heaping cup cabbage/black bean/tomato concoction spiced with chili powder, garlic, coriander

fruit: strawberries and grapes

It was a bit down hill for dinner: Got into some SAD (blue) tortilla chips (aka salt and fat)  after eating more of the cabbage black bean dish. Followed by more fruit.

So dinner was a slip. A chance to make better choices tomorrow.

Imperfect Abstinence

I was just talking to a newbie, one who is just awakening to the idea that the food problem is actually an addiction problem. We were talking about "Imperfect Abstinece", that is refraining from the addictive food and food related behaviors such as bingeing, purging, restricting, over exercising etc.

I have been "imperfectly" refraining from bingeing and purging since Feb 2010.  What I mean by imperfectly is that I've had occasional slips into my preferred substances (sugar/flour/fat/salt) and into the related behaviors. But fortunately they have been either isolated instances or slow escalation that I've mangaged to nip in the bud before full blown relapse occurs.

When I had a slip 10 years ago, I would beat myself up, experience guilt and shame, and have to "start over". Now, no more starting over. I just use the slips as a learning experience and move on and return to what I know works for me. This gentler approach has given me more success and way less guilt and shame.

When I would go to meetings and hear someone speak about imperfect abstinence I didn't get it. Either you'r doing a program or not, right? Typically I would hear someone describe a slip and then I would hear the refrain from their sponsor. "You slipped because you are a compulsive overeater and that's what you do." I thought that was pretty dumb, but I get it now.

I'm hard wired to cope with life through my binge eating and purging. Slips happen when I forget I have a program and other ways to cope and I revert to the old way. It just is. It doesn't have to be a big deal.

So now when I eat something off plan or eat too much or have a bonge (a mini-binge), I acknowledge it isn't my proudest moment and am humbled by the experience and move on to use better coping skills for the next time excess food calls my name.

Gettin it together

I've been escalating my quantities over the last several days. Too many meals out!

My plan is to get to a meeting, do some step work, and make out reach calls.

Luckily there is plenty of plant strong food in the house and I have been keeping up with the cooking.

Today I made a quinoa, bean, corn salad with peaches and almonds...yummy.

Simple Vegan Food Plan

Many of you are already trying to eat a whole foods plant based low fat diet. For food addicts and compulsive overeaters, we understand the principles but are often at a loss for volume/quantity. Or the plans presented are too complicated and require a lot of tracking and calorie counting.

I found this simple plant based food plan from dietician Jeff Novick who supports John McDougall's recommendations. It is one of the few I've seen that actually addresses volume. This is extremely important when recoving from food addiction. Personally, I add some fats: 1 tbsp ground flax or chia, 1 oz nuts seeds/or 2oz avocado daily.

I found the post in this link and have pasted most of it here:

http://www.drmcdougall.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=22&t=15014

Jeff writes:

Remember, Keep It Simple! In Health Jeff JeffN wrote: If you follow the guidelines and principles recommended here, you will cover the basics without having to count servings. Let me expound on this. If you follow a starch based diet with the addition of fruit and green and yellow veggies at each meal, and consume enough to maintain your healthy weight then your day "may" look something "generically" like this... (using averages for calories and serving sizes) Breakfast:  Intact Whole Grains (2 cups) 320 calories Fresh Fruit (1 cup) 120 calories Lunch Starchy Vegetable (2 cups) 320 calories Legumes (1/2 cup) 120 calories Veggies (2 cups of salad, soup and/or steamed veggies) 100 calories Fruit (1 serving) 60 calories Dinner Starchy Vegetable (2 cups) 320 calories Legumes (1/2 cup) 120 calories Veggies (2 cups of salad, soup and/or steamed veggies) 100 calories Fruit (1 serving) 60 calories That's 12 servings of Starchy Veggies/Whole Grains and 960 calories That's 2 servings of Legumes and 240 calories That's 8 servings of veggies and 200 calories That's 4 servings of fruit and 240 calories that's 12 servings of fruits and veggies but only 1640 calories.  Of course, you could adjust the fruits, veggies, starchy veggies, etc up or down somewhat to fit your own preference and caloric needs, but the end results would be fairly similar. Not bad! And simple and easy.  BTW, those are also some fairly large sized and filling meals.  In Health Jeff PS when neighbors, friends and families ask me how many servings of fresh fruits veggies, starchy veggies, intact whole grains and legumes they should eat or feed to their children, my answer is always the same ...  ...as much as you can.  _________

Lunch and Dinner out

Today we went to SF MOMA. Great exhibit of the Stein's collection of Avant-Garde early 20th century paintings by Matisse, Picasso and more.

Lunch at the museum: vegan aspargus soup and foccacia Bread and a side of steamed spinach. Don't know if it was vegan but it didn't have much fat in it. The bread was not whole grain and I should have eaten the whole oat cakes I had in my purse. Denial...wanted the white flour.

Dinner: Thai restaurant: coconut soup, pad thai, mixed veg. Had just a few bites of fish and snatched what tofu I could out of the pad thai. Brown rice. too.  Twas a fattier meal than I'm used to. but not too bad of a day.

Every day I don't binge is a good day.

Developing a Food Plan in Recovery

Today I'm focusing on developing a food plan when you are recovering from addictive eating and addictive food behaviors. This is a general plan that will work for those who are still eating animal products. The important thing in the beginning is getting off of the bigger addictive substances: sugar and refined carbohydrates. I find that animal protein and fats are also addictive, and  I have adopted a whole foods, plant based food plan. But it may be overwhelming for some to give up everything at once.  Tomorrow I will post a vegan food plan that not only addresses what to eat but volume as well.

General:

1.)  A beginning food plan need not be a weight loss plan. The idea is to change the unwanted food behaviors (overeating, bingeing, purging, restricting, over exercising). The food plan adds structure and supports abstinence (refraining from harmful food behaviors).

2.)  A food plan should be free of addictive substances. (For me these are sugar, refined carbohydrates, wheat,  cheese, caffeine, and artificial sweeteners.) Take time to identify your personal triggers.  You need not give up everything at once.

3.)  Stay out of Diet Mentality and unrealistic expectations. Work with your sponsor and decide if and how frequently you’ll step on the scale.

4.)   Food log: I find it helpful to include on my food log: time of meal or snack, foods and quantities eaten, location consumed, hunger/satiety levels before and after meal, my thoughts and moods, and finally the behavior practiced (eg: “moderate breakfast” or “overate” or “self care snack”. ) I do my food log in a landscape column format.   The food log is for gathering information and to give you feedback on what works and what doesn’t. Please don’t use it to restrict, control, and beat yourself up.

5.)  The food plan is not carved in stone. Try something for a week and reevaluate.  Listen to your body

6.) Plan to eat 3meals and up to 3 snacks a day. Eat breakfast whether or not you “feel like it”’.  Each meal and snack should have all the macronutrients: Protein, Fat, and Carbohydrate. Some “eating events” may be optional depending on activity level. Each meal or snack has a beginning and an end. I abstain in between.

 7.) I try to eat unprocessed whole foods as much as possible.

 8.) I find timing crucial. Don’t get too hungry by letting too many hours pass. It’s ok to eat “early” if you are physically hungry. Good spacing of meals and snacks means better blood sugar control and less hunger.

9.) Listen to your body. Maybe you’d like a breakfast meal for dinner or a dinner type meal for breakfast.

10.) Discuss with your sponsor accountability:

 Will you “commit” to the foods you will eat ahead of time, or will you report your food actually eaten at the end of the day? I report at the end of the day. I have found it gives me more flexibility and I’m more willing to be honest. I have found that when I commit ahead of time, I feel guilt and shame if I can’t keep my commitment.  On the positive side, committing ahead means you don’t have a lot of on the spot decisions to make and it can be freeing to some people.  (Some people do not report their food to a sponsor.)

These are suggestions based on my experience in program, not rules. If I had to make one rule it would be:

NO SKIMPY OR RESTRICTIVE FOOD PLANS.  Far too often new sponsees start sending me their daily intakes and there just isn’t enough food for sustainable abstinence-plan for the long haul. Scant food plans often backfire and lead to compulsive food behaviors and full blown relapse.

Remember the food plan supports abstinence and provides clarity for working the steps as we move into recovery.

Food plan in a nutshell: Note: these portion sizes are typical for me. You may need more or a little less.

Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner:

 May mix and match choices (eg: possible protein could be an omelet with 1 egg and 2-3oz cottage cheese or a possible grain choice would be 1/2c lentils and 1/2c brown rice)

Choose protein: ½-1 cup beans, lentils, peas

                                1 c yogurt or 6oz cottage cheese

                                 2-4oz meat poultry or fish

                                 1-2 eggs

Choose Starch:  1 cup cooked grain or 1.5oz before cooking or uncooked

                                  6-8 oz potato, yam sweet potato, other roots

                                   1 c beans, lentils, peas

                                (If you eat wheat: then stick to whole wheat: Typical portion:150-170calories. I personally find wheat and flour a gateway drug for me so I avoid it.)           

Choose Fat: ½-1 tbsp oil, nut butter, mayo,

                         ¼-½ oz nuts or seeds

                        1- 2oz avocado

Choose: Fruit or vegetable  (include two to three times daily in your plan the following)

                4oz -6oz fruit or 1-2cups low carb veggies or both veg and fruit if needed

Snacks: 

 How many?: One to three times a day depending on your activity level, blood sugar control, and current size (larger people should start out eating more and cut portions as weight is shed)

Portions for snacks:  1/3-1/2 size of a meal. Very active people may need a fourth full sized meal.

Food Plan Journey-Feeling Nourished

Suggestions for a FEEL NOURISHED Food Plan: Part One

Introduction:

Hi, I’m Johannah, a compulsive overeater. I’ve been in recovery from food addiction since 2001 and have enjoyed long periods of abstinence where I have refrained from binge eating and purging.  I have had relapses too. I would like to share what I have learned about my disease, including what I eat.

As I have learned more about my eating disorder and my body, I have realized that many of the food plans that I have tried in the past did not support me nutritionally. I have adopted too many plans and diets where I felt I was white knuckling .   I call it the “stuffed/not nourished or not fed” feeling.  Where I would eat a typical “abstinent” meal that was mostly protein and veggies and feel full but not satisfied.  It turned out these plans were actually restrictive even though I got plenty of volume.  I call it restriction disguised in bulky low cal foods. I was abstinent and changing my behavior but I was still physically hungry.

I went to a nutritionist a few years ago who specializes in eating disorders. This experience with a professional filled in some of the missing pieces for me-things that I wasn’t able to learn in my 12 step program.  She told me I was restricting calories by over consuming vegetables and protein and that I was under eating carbohydrate and fat.  She also told me I could eat anything in moderation. But, as a food addict, I know in my core that certain foods trigger the obsession and compulsive food behaviors.  My biggest trigger foods are sugar and refined carbohydrates. 

When I first tried the nutritionist’s suggestions, I could not refrain from compulsive overeating. I now know it’s because I tried to eat binge foods in moderation at her suggestion. When I made the shift to whole foods in the proportions she suggested (sans sugar and flour), abstinence became easier for me. No more white knuckle hunger which would inevitably lead to relapse. I was surprised at how much I needed to eat to feel satisfied and nourished. 

I adopted a low fat vegan food plan in Feb 2011 though I had been abstinent from Feb 2010. For me the cravings are less on this food plan and my health has improved a lot. My blood pressure has gone down, my psoriasis is gone!, and my mood and energy is improved.

So that is the background for my Feel Nourished food plan.

Tomorrow: more specifics on developing a food plan including what and how much.

Getting Honest about unwanted food behaviors.

Today I want to address Honesty. For me it was important to get real about what behaviors were keeping me from living a fuller life. I give these questions to all my new sponsees in 12 step program. Time to share more openly. 

At some point  I'll answer some of these questions myself so you can get a glimpse of my journey.

Step One: Newcomers

We admitted that we were powerless over food, that our lives had become unmanageable. The spiritual principle that is intrinsic in step one is honesty.

Suggested assignment:

1.)  Read Step One in the OA 12/12 (or the AA 12/12 is that's what you have on hand-replace the words alcohol with food and sobriety with abstinence).  Take a few notes and relate the reading to your own food and life related challenges.

2.)  Start reading the Big Book and in your mind replace the words alcohol with food, alcoholic with compulsive overeater or food addict, and sobriety with abstinence.

3.)  Start listening to Joe and Charlie’s Big Book study (mp3 downloads at

http://silkworth.net/freestuff.html

4.)  Read the pamphlet: Dignity of Choice.  Define your abstinence (not food plan). Available online at www.oa.org  or at meetings.

5.)  Read the pamphlet: Tools of recovery and start using as many tools as are appropriate.

6.)   Devise and send your food plan to your sponsor. Discuss accountability. (eg.  Writing down food, Commit food ahead, report food at end of day, weigh/measure, what food items you abstain from-None of these are requirements –just examples of how you will be accountable. Other methods may apply).

7.)  Part one: We admitted we were powerless over food.

a.)   Describe your abnormal relationship with food. (Behaviors with food you want to change and obsessive thinking about food. Eg: binge, purge, restrict, over exercise, compulsive food shopping, obsess)

b.)  What body image issues or obsessions do I have?

c.)   What methods have I used in the past to control my eating?

d.)  What are my trigger foods? Red light foods, yellow light foods/circumstance. (Example of yellow light food or circumstance: “I can eat a turkey sandwich safely, but don’t give me a loaf of bread and butter.”)

8.)  Part two: that our lives had become unmanageable.

a.)   What in my life is currently unmanageable or out of balance?

b.)  How has my use of food affected my relationships? With family? Friends? Work?

c.)   How has my use of food blocked me from living a fuller life?

9.)  What frightens me about becoming abstinent? (Putting down the food).

10.)                 Envision and describe the benefits of leading an abstinent life.

Suggested format for daily check in with sponsor or accountability partner:

1.)  Food accountability

2.)  What’s up today that could threaten my abstinence?

a.)   Life challenges: relationships, resentments, stressful situations, etc

b.)  Food challenges: (potluck, travel, forgot to shop for abstinent food, etc)

3.)  What am I doing today to support my abstinence and recovery?

 (eg: meetings, literature, meditation, exercise, batch cook etc) What program tools am I using to deal with the stressors in #2?

             4.) List at least three gratitudes.

Welcome! to Mostly Plants for Recovery from Food Addiction

Hi, I'm Johannah. 

I decided to start blogging my experience with a plant based whole foods low fat food plan and how it supports my recovery from food addiction and compulsive overeating. I started eating mostly plants in February 2011, though I had been abstaining from the bigger binge behaviors since February 2010. 

I am focused on the unwanted food related behaviors and body image issues rather than the weight. It may be useful to state what my stats are though: Starting weight 160 in Feb 2010 and now 135.  (5'2" 57yo F) Improved blood pressure, skin rashes gone, increased energy and better mood.

You may have guessed from my language that I also follow a 12 step food  recovery program.

My current health gurus: T. Colin Campbell (The China Study), Neal Barnard (PCRM-Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine), John McDougall, Joel Fuhrman, Caldwell Esselstyn etc...

Ok, this is the first post.  so we'll see how this goes. Maybe I'll even learn how to fancy up the pages with pictures!

I'll be revealing more of my story as days go on. Background, recovery process over 10 years, and a whole lot of my daily challenges with food and food related behaviors.